What I´ve learned so far

50 days here. 50 days ago I arrived in the country that already feels more like a home to me than a vacation spot. Scared, excited, worried, ambitious, eager to learn and with a fully open heart to let in the experience, all the people, all the moments, I arrived.
50 days don´t sound that long compared to the more than 16 years that I already spent on that earth. 50 days don´t even sound long compared to the almost 300 days that I´m still going to spend on excactly that place on earth. 
Nevertheless I don´t think I´ve ever learned that much in that small amount of time. 

I am not talking about formulas, vocabulary or terms. I guess I´ve never studied less than here. There is a reason, why my classmates think it´s unfair, because we don´t have to take the exams and nobody cares about our homework.
But I am talking about life. 
Everybody said that exchange is about learning. I truly believed that but I definetely wasn´t aware of what actually I will be learning during this adventure. And it has only been 50 days.

Being abroad, a student in a foreign country, with an unknown language and part of a different family life, you learn. You learn about culture, about yours and the one that´s about to be partly yours. You learn about people, their way to live, to act and to talk. You learn about prejudices, about expectations and fitting in (or not). You learn about friendship and love, how much it really matters and how unaware you were of your comfortable life before. You learn about communication, that it is the key though, but talking isn´t the only way of doing it. You learn about value, about habits and about gratefulness. You learn about your family, your country, yourself. You learn about learning.
I learned, I am learning everyday. 

I did not only learn how to use my credit card correctly with the first try, how to handle my phone in Finnish and that I can rely on my sense of orientation more than I thought I could.
I learned how to value everyday. I get up every morning and I tell myself to care, to not just sleep away the afternoon and to ask people how they are, even if I don´t really feel like asking anything at all. 
There were so many days in my life, where something went wrong and I just decided that it´s one of those bad days. That it´s one of those days where I only talk to people when needed and hide myself in my hoodie and under a blanket. I´m not doing that here. Of course it´s okay to have bad days and to hide, but my life here is too precious, the time I got is too short to just decide to be in a bad mood.
And I won´t lie, it´s hard sometimes. The efford you have to make, every single day. You had that life back in your home country that you built for so many years. You had your friends, the people to hang out with, the peope to call and the people to cry with. You lived in that small circle of knowing each other for so long you don´t even remember the time it was weird to sing in front of the other ones. Once you are out of that circle it is of course great and exciting. But it´s exhausting and even tiring at the same time. You have to do it all over again. Open up, starting conversations, remembering things, making others talk... But I learned to still continue, no matter if I am motivated or not, because I know, that it is, that the people are, worth it, in the end.
I also learned to value all the small things. Every hug, every smile, every "thank you" becomes so much bigger and can make your whole day, if it´s not a routine thing anymore.
I learned a lot about trust. Since the total beginning I had to trust people. So many new faces, a completely unknown family, new classmates, new adults to rely on. I had to trust them, that they care, that they just want the best for me, that they want me to be in their lives, that they will bring you back home in one piece, that they will like me - that they are simply good people. I had to trust my family and my friends back home, that they will still be there for me but that they will let me go too. I had to trust myself that this is something I can do. I will eventually find the way home, I will feel better, I am doing my best, no matter how much that is.Trust is a big thing and without the trust that everything will always be okay, I don´t think I would have gotten this far. 
I learned to dare myself sometimes and how important it is to be brave. Even if that means to take the more uncomfortable way. Don´t turn around, go in there and introduce yourself. Ask. Swim. Speak. 
I learned that I should take every chance I get to try something new. To be braver than before. And I learned what kind of things make me feel like I don´t want to be brave. 

I´ve only been here for 50 days, which feels both, way longer and way shorter. The thought of ever leaving again could already make me burst into tears. But I am so happy that I had the greatest experience so far and that my journey, my way of learning about life, is far from over yet. 

Hugs, 
Lona
 

1 Monat // 1 month

Nun bin ich schon über einen Monat in Finnland und bei meiner Gastfamilie. Ich kann es kaum glauben, die Zeit verging für mich so schnell und ich bin froh, dass ich noch fast 10 Monate Zeit habe, zu erleben, zu entdecken und zu lernen.

Ich habe mir gedacht, dass ich am Ende jeden Monats (oder eben am Anfang des nächsten) ein kleines Update gebe, ein paar Fragen beantworte oder einfach zusammenfassend erzähle.

Erst einmal das vielleicht wichtigste: Ich bin sehr glücklich.

Mehr als einmal habe ich in der letzten Zeit von anderen Austauschschülern gelesen oder gehört, dass sie unzufrieden mit ihrer Gastfamilie sind, sich unwohl fühlen, schlimmes Heimweh haben oder einfach wieder nach Hause wollen.

Und ich bin mehr als froh, dass nichts davon auf mich zu trifft.

Ich weiß nicht, vielleicht habe ich einfach nur unendliches Glück, aber ich rede nichts schön, wenn ich sage, dass es mir wirklich gut geht.

Dieser Monat war ganz bestimmt einer der schönsten in meinem bisherigen Leben und ich kann nicht ausdrücken wie dankbar ich für alle Menschen bin, die das möglich machen. Ihr zu Hause, indem ihr mich unterstützt und hinter mir steht; meine wundervolle Gastfamilie, mit ihrer Geduld und ihrer einfach unglaublichen Offenheit, mich in ihren Familienalltag zu lassen; meine Freunde in der Schule, die Einsamkeit und Alleinsein zu einem theoretischen Problem werden lassen; andere Austauschschüler und ihre Familien, die ich ausnahmslos nett und liebevoll kennengelernt habe; Lehrer, die sich immer wieder bemühen uns etwas zu erklären.

Ich kann nur sagen, dass ich so sehr hoffe, dass dieses Gefühl, dass ich hier genau richtig bin, bleibt.

Auch wenn ich keinen Kulturschock erlitten habe, als ich hier an kam, mir Regeln und Verhaltensweisen relativ vertraut waren, ist doch manches anders. Nicht unbedingt besser oder schlechter, einfach anders.

Über die Zeit bemerkt, immer wieder realisiert, gesammelt und aufgeschrieben, bevor ich mich zu sehr daran gewöhne, ist eine kleine Liste mit all den Kleinigkeiten entstanden, die in Finnland anders sind als in Deutschland. Zumindest für mich. Zumindest in meiner Familie, meiner Schule, meinem Umfeld.

- wenn jemand niest, sagt keiner was. Es gibt zwar einen finnischen Ausdruck für das deutsche „Gesundheit“, nachdem jemand niest („Terveydeksi“), aber außer den Austauschschülern habe ich das noch nie jemand sagen hören.

- Müll wird hier eigentlich immer getrennt.

- Zu jedem Essen gibt es Brot und Butter, auch, oder vor allem, in der Schule und meistens wird Milch getrunken.

- Salat hingegen isst man meist ohne Dressing.

- Auch „guten Appetit“ oder das finnische Equivalent „Hyvää ruokahalua“ sagt keiner. Generell ist Essen, auch wenn es gemeinsam ist, mehr so ein anfangen, sobald man da ist und aufstehen, sobald man fertig ist. Und Frühstück steht nicht auf dem Tisch, sondern jeder macht sich etwas selbst und isst es.

- Schule ist wesentlich entspannter, was das Verhältnis zwischen Lehrer und Schüler angeht und auch die Handynutzung wird so gut wie nie kommentiert.

- Es gibt definitiv ein anderes Wetter-Wahrnehmungsgefühl. Als ich einen Kapuzenpulli getragen hab, hat meine Englischlehrerin uns mit den Worten „Es ist Freitag und es ist heiß“ früher verabschiedet. Gleichzeitig tragen die meisten finnischen Schüler auch zwei Jacken, Schal und Handschuhe beim Sportunterricht draußen, während ich mit meinem Pulli nicht friere.

- Alles ist so wunderschön grün. Bäume, Bäume, Bäume.

- Es ist ziemlich üblich, dass nur am Wochenende Süßigkeiten gegessen werden.

Ich könnte diese Liste noch so lange weiterführen und werde ich sicher auch irgendwann mal, aber für heute ist das schon lang genug, denke ich.

Alles Liebe,

Lona

1 month

Now I´m already in Finland and with my host family for over a month. I really can´t believe this. Time went by so fast and I´m so happy that I still have nearly 10 month more to go, discover, experience and learn.

I thought that I´d answer some questions or just tell something at the end of every month (or the start of the next one…).

First the maybe most important: I´m truly happy.

More than one time during the past days I heard from other exchange students that they´re unhappy with their host family, dissatisfied, coping with homesickness or just wanting to go back to their home countries.

I´m more than glad that I can´t relate to any of those feelings.

I don´t know, maybe I´m just infinitely lucky, but I don´t lie to anyone, if I say that I´m feeling really good.

This past month was sure one of the best I´ve ever had and I can´t express how incredibly thankful I am for all those people who made that possible. You at home, because of your support and always having my back; my wonderful host family, with all their patience and their unbelievable openness to just let me into their lives; my friends in school, who make loneliness a theoretical problem; other exchange students and their family, which I got to know kind and loving without exceptions; teachers, who keep explaining things…

I can only say that I hope this feeling of being absolutely right here, stays.

Even if I didn´t have a culture shock when I came here, because rules and behaviors are quite familiar – there are some differences. Not absolutely better or worse, just different.

Realized with the time, collected and written down before I get to used to them, I made a list of things that are different in Finland and in Germany. At least for me. In my family, my school, my daily life.

- Nobody says something if someone sneezes. There is a finnish phrase (“terveydeksi”) but I´ve never heard anyone saying it.

- Waste is separated almost everywhere.

- With every meal there´s bread and butter, at least in school, and people mostly drink milk.

- When we start to eat we also say nothing like “enjoy your meal”. In general it´s more like everyone just starts when he or she is there and leaves as soon as he or she has finished.

- School is way more relaxed. The relationship between teachers and students is more relaxed and nobody says something about phones during lessons.

- There´s a different way of experiencing temperatures.

- Everything is so beautiful green! Trees, trees, trees.

- It´s common to have candy only on the weekends.

I could move on with this list for so long and I probably will one day, but I guess for now it´s enough.

Love,

Lona