Back to the start - Midyear Orientation

(unten ist die deutsche Version!)

Hello everyone,
I hope you´re alright. I´m really good and at the same time really sad. Both due to last weekend, where all the YFU exchange students in Finland had the pleasure to meet for the Midyear Orientation camp.
On Friday morning I took the bus to Helsinki where I met with some of the others and we went to Burger King (because cheap food and enough space for all our backpacks). With the time a lot of other students joined us and it was so nice to finally see them again. Especially the ones who don´t live in Helsinki or around and who I haven´t met since the On Arrival Orientation. After some snack-shopping we went to the bus station where we met the rest of the group. There was hugging everywhere and I immediately felt so happy to be with these people again.
Two busses took us to Anjala, two hours to the East from Helsinki, where we also had our first camp. It was like "going back to the start". Exactly to the place that we spent our very first days in Finland in. Only it was covered in snow now. 
After we´ve arrived and gotten some general information we got our housekeys and cards that showed our name, our country and our schedule for the weekend. There was some time to organize our stuff, but basically we just talked because there was so much to tell each other.
Then we had dinner and after that our first workshop, this time all together and not in the smaller groups we were spereated in. The workshop consisted of the YFU volunteers throwing paper and scissors in the middle and the task "build your exchange year" and us glueing different collages together. And some people were practicing life art by laying on the floor doing nothing "because that´s what exchange students do". Once we were done with that we had some kind of rally to test our Finnish skills and get into the YFU feeling, but actually to talk and be together and fool around. We weren´t quite sure but we thought that one task was to invent some kind of group scream and sadly we never got to present our special shout including Spice Girls and turtles.
The rally lead us to the fireplace where we spent the most of the evening, wih sausages and marshmellows. After our feet got too cold we went to the gym hall and after we had to leave it shortly before midnight, some of the girls gathered in one of the houses to sing happy birthday to one lovely friend.
Back in my own house we sat on the couches, ate candy and talked about everything from Finnish boys to world problems until it was almost half past one. When I fell asleep I had this warm happy feeling, to be exactly at the right place with the right people.
On Saturday morning we started the workshops in small groups after breakfast. The aim of the workshops was basically to make us realize what we have achieved and how we can improve to get the best out of the rest of our year. We drew charts, wrote down what we have given to our host community or analyzed a play by the volunteers to understand that communication is the key. We also had an open space workshop, where we could just walk around and have conversations about different topics.
A really emotional moment was, when we got letters our host families had written to us. They were - unlike our first thought - extremely lovely and it was so touching to read how you found a way into the hearts of a family that was so strange to you six months ago.
The breaks where spent playing "What do you meme?" or, like Sofia (szrsuomi.wordpress.com) said in such a perfect way, just doing nothing together.
In the evening we went to the sauna cottage, for iltapala, sauna and rolling in the snow
After that we we went to the gym hall. I had the feeling that we were even closer than during the arrival camp and I realized once again how much I love these people.
The evening ended in a dodge ball game, another happy birthday (screaming this time), some YFU-pride and a group hug - due to some people who had too much energy left.
On Sunday we tried to ignore the tiredness and enjoy the last activities. Which for my group included writing a rap about the popular movie "tuntematon sotilas" (the unknown soldier) and shouting no niin occasionally in between. But at lunch you could feel that the mood was down. It was quieter, notebooks for small messages were passed around and some people even shed some tears.
Our last workshop was full of a mixture of emotions. Memories, when we got back the letters we wrote ourselves in the beginning of our year. Honesty, downcast and also acceptance when we had to write down the three worst experiences we had during the exchange. And fun, when we got to match name tags, hostcountries and age to the teamers.
And then it was already time to go back on the bus. I felt like we didn´t have enough time together, but then again I don´t know if any time would be enough. But we also didn´t really have time to say goodbye to each other, which was sad, as it was the last time we would all for sure be together.
Back in Helsinki a big part of the group went to Burger King again, because we weren´t quite ready to go home yet.
Being in Anjala, surrounded by fellow exchange students and volunteers kinda feels like being on an island. We are young people from all over the world, we are so different - but there´s this one big thing that connects us. We are all exchange students in Finland, all trying to learn this language, all struggling sometimes, all alone in a strange country. Having something like that in common makes us like a huge family and I´m not exaggerating when I say I love all these people with all my heart.
But as sad as it was to leave this island full of love, understanding and support, it was nice to come home. A home where you are expected and the pockets full of new memories and new motivation to live the fullest out of the time we have left.
Thank you to everyone who was there on the weekend. 

Love, 
Lona

***

Hallo ihr Lieben,

ich hoffe es geht euch gut. Mir geht es sehr gut und gleichzeitig bin ich ziemlich traurig. Beides aufgrund des letzetn Wochenendes, an dem alle YFU Austauschschüler in Finnland an dem Halbzeit-Treffen teilgenommen haben. 
Am Freitagmorgen habe ich den Bus nach Helsinki genommen und dort einige andere Austauschschüler getroffen. Zusammen sind wir zu Burger King gegangen (denn: günstiges Essen und genug Platz für all unsere Rucksäcke). Mit der Zeit vergrößerte sich unsere Gruppe und es war so schön, diese Menschen wiederzusehen. Besonders diejenigen die nicht in Helsinki und Umgebung wohnen und die ich teilweise seit dem Camp am Anfang des Austauschjahres nicht gesehen habe. 
Nachdem wir ein paar Snacks gekauft haben, sind wir zur Busstation gegangen, wo wir den Rest der Gruppe getroffen haben. Überall wurde sich umarmt und ich war augenblicklich so glücklich wieder mit diesen Menschen zusammen zu sein. 
Zwei Busse haben uns in zwei Stunden nach Anjala in Ost-Finnland gebracht, wo wir auch schon unser erstes Treffen hatten. 
Zuerst haben wir allgemeine Informationen bekommen und unsere Hausschlüssel sowie Karten mit unseren Namen, Heimatländern und einem Plan für das Wochenende. Dann hatten wir vor dem Abendessen ein wenig Zeit uns einzurichten, aber eigentlich haben wir nur geredet. Denn es gibt so viel  zu erzählen. 
Nach dem Essen hatten wir unseren ersten Workshop. Alle waren zusammen und nicht in den kleineren Gruppen in die wir aufgeteilt waren und der Workshop bestand aus den Volunteers, die Schere, Zeitungen und Papier in die Mitte gelegt haben, der Aufgabenstellung "mache dein Austauschjahr" und uns, wie wir verschiedene "Kunstwerke" zusammengeklebt haben. Ein paar Leute haben "lebendige Kunst" praktiziert, indem sie auf den Sitzsäcken gelegen und nichts getan haben - also quasi das Leben eines Austauschschülers inszeniert. 
Danach hatten wir eine Art Rallye in kleinen Gruppen um unser Finnisch zu testen und in das YFU-Gefühl reinzukommen. Aber eigentlich nur um weiter zu quatschen und herumzualbern. Wir waren uns nicht ganz sicher, aber wir dachten eine Aufgabe war es, eine Art Gruppenschrei zu erfinden. Leider konnten wir unseren Ruf, der Schildkröten und Spice Girls thematisierte, nie präsentieren. 
Die Rallye brachte uns zu einer Feuerstelle, wo wir den Großteil des Abend verbrachten, mit Würstchen und Marshmellows. Als unsere Füße zu kalt wurden sind wir in die Turnhalle umgezogen und als wir diese um kurz vor Mitternacht verlassen mussten sind einige Mädchen in einem Haus zusammengekommen um "Happy Birthday" für eine liebe Freundin zu singen. 
Zurück in meinem eigenen Haus saßen wir bis fast halb zwei auf den Sofas, haben Süßigkeiten gegessen und über alles - von finnischen Jungs bis Weltproblematiken - geredet. Als ich eingeschlafen bin hatte ich das warme glückliche Gefühl genau am richtigen Ort mit den richtigen Menschen zu sein. 
Am Samstag haben wir mit den Workshops in Kleingruppen nach dem Frühstück angefangen. Das Ziel war zu verstehen, was wir schon erreicht haben und auch zu überlegen, wie wir uns verbessern können, um das Beste aus dem Rest unseres Jahres zu machen. Wir haben Tabellen gezeichnet, aufgeschrieben was wir unser Gastumgebung geben, ein Rollenspiel der Teamer analysiert oder in einer offenen Runde uns über verschiedenste Themen ausgetauscht. 
Ein sehr emotionaler Moment war, als wir Briefe bekommen haben, die unsere Gastfamilien uns geschrieben haben. Im Gegensatz zu unserem ersten Gedanken waren die Briefe sehr liebevoll und es war so schön zu lesen, dass man in den Herzen einer Familie ist, die einem vor 6 Monaten noch so fremd war. 
Die Pausen haben wir mit "What do you meme?" verbracht oder, wie Sofia so schön gesagt hat, einfach nichts zusammen machen.
Am Abend sind wir zum Saunahaus gegangen, für den Abendsnack, Sauna und natürlich im Schnee rollen. 
Auch danach waren wir alle zusammen in der Turnhalle und ich hatte das Gefühl wir waren uns noch näher als bei der ersten Orientation und ich habe wieder einmal realisiert, wie sehr ich diese Menschen liebe. 
Der Abend endete in einem Völkerballspiel, einem weiteren Happy Birthday (mehr geschrien diesmal) und einer Gruppenumarmung - denn ein paar Menschen hatten zu viel Energie übrig. 
Am Sonntag versuchten wir die Müdigkeit zu ignorieren und die letzten Aktivitäten zu genießen. Für meine Gruppe hieß das, einen Rap über den bekannten Film "tuntematon solitas" (der unbekannte soldat) zu schreiben und zwischendurch no niin zu rufen. 
Doch beim Mittagessen konnte man merken, dass die Stimmung gedrückt war. Es war stiller, Notizbücher für kleine Nachrichten wurden herumgereicht und ein paar Tränen vergossen. 
Unser letzter Workshop war eine Mischung aus Emotionen. Erinnerungen, als wir die Briefe zurückbekamen, die wir uns am Anfang des Jahres geschrieben haben. Ehrlichkeit, Niedergeschlagenheit und auch Akzeptanz als wir die drei schlimmsten Erlebnisse unsere Auslandsjahres aufschreiben sollten. Und Spaß, als wir Namensschilder, Gastländer und Alter den Teamern zuordnen sollten. 
Und danach war es auch schon Zeit wieder in den Bus zu steigen. Ich fand, wir hatten zu wenig Zeit einander tschüss zu sagen, denn es war das letzte Mal dass wir sicher alle zusammen sein würden.  
Zurück in Helsinki begaben wir uns wieder zu Burger King, denn wir waren noch nicht wirklich bereit wieder nach Hause zu gehen. 
In Anjala zu sein, umgeben von Austauschschülern und Volunteers, ist ein bisschen wie auf einer Insel zu sein. 
Wir sind junge Menschen aus der ganzen Welt und wir sind so verschieden, doch da ist diese große Sache, die uns alle verbindet. Wir sind alle Austuschschüler in Finnland, wir alle versuchen Finnishc zu lernen, wir sind alle allein in einem fremden Land. Und dass wir diese Sache gemeinsam haben macht uns zu einer großen Familie. Ich übertreibe nicht, wenn ich sage, ich liebe diese Menschen von ganzem Herzen. 
So traurig es war diese Insel aus Liebe, Verständnis und Glück zu verlassen, so schön war es, wieder nach Hause zu kommen. Wo man schon erwartet wurde. Und die Taschen voller neuer Erinnerungen und neuer Motivation, alles aus dem Rest des Jahres mitzunehmen, was geht. 
Danke an alle, die dieses Wochenede so großartig gemacht haben. 

Alles Liebe, 
Lona  

(credits for the pictures go to lore, diego, toni and probably someone else)

Half time update

Today is the 13th of January. It´s my 164th day in Finland. And it marks exactly the half of my exchange year. Yes, just like that almost 5 and a half months are over and in another 164 days I will be sitting on the plane back to Germany. Thinking about that makes me feel a set of the most different emotions and I thought what is a better opportunity to give a general life update than half-time?
They always tell you being an exchange student is like being on a rollercoaster. And I can tell you, I´m really living that rollercoaster life to the fullest during the past months.
There comes a point, I can´t exactly tell when it happened to me, where you lose the rose-tinted glasses and not everything is fine anymore.
I recognized how I started to be annoyed by little things, by certain behaviours of certain people. I realized I wasn´t so eager to integrate anymore. In some moments, when someone was talking Finnish, I just wanted to cover my ears with my hands.
There were days when I thought "I just want to go home" and by home I meant Germany. I meant my family. I meant the people I´ve known for 16 years. I meant the places I´ve grown up in, the place I love.
Probably the best reason for these thoughts is the simple feeling of exhaustion. Because being an exchange student is extremely exhausting.
I am living in another family and no matter how close we are or how much I love them, they are not the people who have known and raised me my entire life and they´re voluntarily offering me a home, without gettig paid back in a material sense. And if I have a bad day, I can´t just go home and beef around, start a senseless fight or yell. Or I mean I could, but I won´t. Because I am too grateful for what they do.
In other situations where something is bothering me, I try to first think about why I feel that way and if it´s actually something that affects me in a bad way or if I just want to be mad about something.
So, being an exchange student means a lot of holding back. It means a lot of smiling and nodding while you´re screaming on the inside, maybe just because you didn´t sleep at all the last night. I don´t convulsivley try to keep my emotions inside, but I´m still more careful with them then I´ve ever been before.
But it also means a lot of room for thinking and reflecting. The actions of others and yourself, the reasons behind them and always the question "but what am I doing, to make this situation better?".
Exchange year means growing up, they also tell you that. But I never thought that it would be so suddenly. There were days, when I didn´t feel so good; nights when it was 3am and I still couldn´t find any sleep or just moments, when there was a weird kind of pain in my body and I wasn´t sure what to do -
In these moments I thought about how stepping on the plane that day in August, I left behind all the possibilities to be a little girl again. Of course I was growing up before and I managed a lot of things on my own. But there was still always this safety that I could crawl into my mums bed when I needed some cuddles in the middle of a sleepless night. I always knew there was my dad who would come and pick me up anywhere and anytime. Everytime I was feeling weak I knew there was someone to  make me some tea or soup, talk to me or just hold me in their arms. Or call the doctor to make an appointment for me when I really was too anxious to do it myself.
Here I feel like I can´t be that kid anymore and sometimes it´s hard. Because at the same time everyone assumes you´re always mature, you lose a lot of freedom you´ve had before. At least I do. Finland is a pretty safe country, I can do a lot of things and my hostparents actually aren´t that strict. But still - I can´t just be like "hey I´m going to that party tonight and I´m staying there. See you tomorrow!". It´s always weighing between what I want, what others want, what is allowed, what is expected, what am I supposed to do...
Accepting that it´s not the same here takes time and will. Not the same habits, not the same rules and not the same people. Especially with the people part I was (or I am) struggling sometimes. Because even though I´m trying not to, I sometimes compare. I think everyone does. My friends here are not and they will never be the same as the friends I have in Germany. My mum is not the same as my German mum. They won´t act or react the same. And I can´t expect them to. But that they are not the same doesn´t mean they aren´t as good. They can be so different and still so great. And isn´t exchange also about hanging out with people you never even would have talked to in the first place?
But this, as dramatic it probably sounds, is only a tiny, tiny part of my year. Even though it´s tiny, I still felt the need to write about it. I don´t want anyone to think that it´s always easy and perfect. It is not and probably no one´s exchange year is, no matter how it seems on the outside. But I am still so lucky and my problems are so small, I don´t even want to call them problems. Everytime I felt absolutely tired of everything, two hours later it wasn´t a big deal anymore. And in the end the good memories are so much stronger.
And besides the really really rare nights where I feel like I don´t want to do this anymore, there is a lot of great stuff happening. This is the time of the year where I really realize who I am close to. I´ve built a lot of really good friendships. With Finns and with other exchange students. I am more than thankful for the other little family I found in my beloved fellow exchange students. Everyone says, you shouldn´t hang out with exchange students so much and befriend local people. Of course you, but no one ever tells you how good it is, to have other exchange students. People in the same situation, who always understand you, who can become the closest friends in such a short time, even though you all come from the most different cultures. I honestly wouldn´t know what I´d be doing without my other foreign friends.
I also start too feel worried about not having enough time to do all the things I want to do and see all the places I want to see. That´s why I am planning some trips and visits for the next weeks. 
My New Year´s Eve was pretty chill, as I spent it with my family. We went bowling and ate raclette and had a pleasant time.
Otherwise I spent a lot of time with my friends during the holidays, at least the time I wasn´t sick. We went ice skating, played pool or just met to play cards and eat. The last weekend of the holidays my family rented a cottage in a sports resort place, one and a half hours from Tuusula. We spent wonderful three days there, eating, swimming, going to sauna and on beautiful walks in the forest. And my new wintershoes survived the two hours marching through the snow (because the path was too icy) without my feet getting wet - so I think they passed the test. 
The weather is still not really cold (compared to what I hear from all the exchange students in the USA/Canada), but luckily the last days the temperature stayed under zero degrees and we had amazing sunny winterdays. 
In school we´re busy practicing the dances for the Wanhat. It´s the prom in Finnish schools, organized for second year students. They celebrate that they´re the oldest ones in school (wanhat), after the seniors graduate. We have to learn 13 different dances, which are not really difficult themselves but can be kind of confusing. Anyhow I´m really enjoying it because learning old traditional dances is such a "once in a lifetime" thing. And even though I feel like all the outfit and getting ready part is a little overrated, I´m looking forward to the "big day".
I finally got a gym membership to feel better about all the Fazer chocolate I´m eating and I joined a theatre project. 
Most of the time I´m in a really good mood and when I play piggy in the middle with my family and laugh so hard I almost drown in the pool or when I look at the sky burning in pink and orange as the sun sets or when I just fall asleep with this deeply happy feeling in my stomach, I know I´m still just right here. 
Being an exchange student is like being on a rollercoaster. It has happened to me that I started crying because I have to leave everything here one day and it hurts so much to know that and 10 min after that I was crying because I missed my German family. 
It´s a rollercoaster but exactly this is what makes it so special. It is what makes you grow and learn. 
And the main thing is, that I know I will get off that rollercoaster one day and I would totally do it all over again.