Update

It is the first week of May and with this it is my last whole month in Finland. To be honest it just feels totally shitty. The closer the end of my exchange year comes, the less I want it to end. I don't feel ready to leave. I guess that's normal. It's been a long while since I wrote a blogpost about my general feelings and things in my every day life. So here we go:

Easter 
Easter in Finland starts the week before Easter Sunday. Children dress up as witches, called trulls and decorate branches with feathers. Then they go around in the neighbourhood and ring at the door. When you open they ask if they can bless your house. When you agree, they say a short poem and give you a branch in exchange for some Easter sweets.
The Friday and the Monday around the Easter weekend we didn't have school. I spent the weekend with my family. On Friday we went to eat breakfast together and visited the Helsinki zoo, as it was surprisingly good weather. On Saturday one of the things I definitely wanted to do happened and we took the ferry to Tallinn, Estonia. It is only two hours on the boat, so perfect for a day trip from Finland. The town is incredibly beautiful and cute and I would love to visit it again.
A traditional Easter Sunday food is mämmi, a dessert made out of malted rye. 

Last jakso
Shortly after Easter my last jakso, last term, in school started. It felt weird to know that I am choosing the subjects for the last time, going to new classes for the last time, introducing myself as the exchange student for the last time. I am really looking forward to German school because I will finally understand everything again and be able to actually work. But at the same time I will miss Finnish school, where everything is pretty relaxed, laptops are part of the normal school day and teachers play music while the students complete the tasks. I wish I could take the best of Finnish school with me and combine it with the best of school in Germany. But that won't be possible so I will just enjoy the last weeks of school here and then try to adapt to the fact that I'm not the exchange student anymore and that I actually have to study.

Vappu
The 1st of May, so called vappu, or the day for worker's and students, is pretty big in Finland. Everyone who already graduated wears the cap they got for their graduation, there are big parties and the common food is munkki, a kind of donuts, and they drink sima, a special lemonade.
In school on Monday we had donuts for dessert and a vappu show, where the teachers played pantomime and won the students in sima pong - the g-rated version of beer pong.
At home we made donuts ourselves and decorated them with all kinds of colors and glitter. Then we prepared dinner and spend the evening with another family playing cards and monopoly. Around eleven my friends picked me up and I stayed with them for awhile. It was really nice to celebrate the 1st of May like that.

Spring time
After a last intense blizzard on Easter Monday and some more days in winter wonderland with sunshine and blue sky the snow finally started to become less instead of more. At some point it was completely gone and as much as I loved it, 5 months have been enough and it is so nice to see green and brown again instead of white, white and white.  The ice on the lake, on which we couldn't walk on anymore for weeks already, completely melted and I already dipped in the 4 degree cold water. Now the spring is more rain and grey clouds than sunshine, but we've already had T-shirt weather.
The days get longer and longer. I remeber how excited and surprised everyone was when we opnened the door after my dance class at 19.30 and it was still bright outside - while there was a time it was already dark when I went to my dance class at 17.30 - but now it's still bright when I say good night to my family and already bright when my alarm rings at 6 in the morning. And the summer nights get better everyday with pink and orange sunsets over the lake.

A special visit
Two weeks ago I was standing at the airport - probably the last time before I go there packed with two suitcases and ready (or not) to leave - shaking and jumping up and down because of excitement. My best friend Matilda who is currently on exchange in England and who I hadn't seen for 9 months was about to visit me. It is so weird to think about that a person that has known you for your entire life except that one year where you have built a whole different life will visit you in your new home. But when she came out of the airport arrival doors it was like I hadn't seen her for only a week or two and not almost a year. And it felt so good to introduce her to all these people and show her all the places. When my sister had visited me earlier in my exchange year I still felt a little like a visitor myself. But now I felt like I could show Matilda everything as my home. I could talk about the places, tell stories and find ways without google maps. We had a lovely weekend and it was so wonderful to have her back. Now saying goodbye for two months sounds like nothing. I wish she could have stayed longer but it is good to know that there is a small connection now, between my life in Finland and my life in Germany - someone who has been in my two homes, the two countries that have my heart.

Out of the comfort zone
When you're completely new in an environment, without people you know and things to spend your time with, you will find yourself agreeing on things you wouldn't ever have considered before. 
That's why I was part of the school musical in autumn, singing Finnish songs I didn't even understand. 
And that's how I ended up in a theater project for young people. Together with 9 other teenagers and one director we performed a theater play about a father-to-be and his struggles. 
In Germany I avoided the theater subject in school as good as possible and would have bursted into laughter if anyone would have suggested I should join a play. But now, here, 9 months later, I stood on a stage in the Finnish National Theater and acted a mini-role, talking Finnish in front of an audience. I was actually kinda proud of myself. And it was fun too. 

The hardest part
I have at least 3 drafts on my blog writing about what it feels like that this year is coming to an end. I couldn't finish any of them to my satisfaction. There are too many things to say and emotions. But the biggest of all at the moment is the wish to stop time. At least for awhile. 
Leaving your life at home sucks, being confused and alone is exhausting and being homesick actually hurts. But for me the hardest part is this. The end. Letting go. 

I hope everyone is well and I'm sending lots of love to Germany!
Lona